Text Cracking

The exegesis section

Text reversing ~ rhetorical cracking

Example 1: Sexual tendencies and practices of necrophiliacs...

by Gossip
14 October 1998

...with an introduction and the beginning of a text-reversing lab

by fravia+
15 October 1998

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Granted, I'm gambling. Publishing this essay (that has been of course sent anonymously to me) I'm taking a gamble. I just trust that my readers are like me: impervious to the obvious scourges and yet fully open to any "sarcastical reversing", even if as "heavy" as this one...

Unfortuntaley I have already experienced (for minor offences :-) that many many readers take things way too seriously... yet I do not! And see: that's the only reason I'm publishing this: it's great fun, it is very well written (it is of course a troll, see my enemy.htm section, and the complete exegesis of the first part of this text below... yet who cares?, A well written troll is a troll worth reading!) and it is a first essay in what I hope will be my 'text cracking' section, maybe not as useful as our reality cracking essays in order to survive, but -I am sure- very useful in order to stalk our friends and enemies on the web.

So let it be published (and -oh boy!- I had some serious reserves about this)... let's see if we have or not enough "reversing might" as not to take any offence from it... and let's see, above all, if we can use it in order to tackle a fascinating aspect of reverse engineering that has been almost forgotten in the last 50 years... text-exegesis (more about this at the bottom, after you'll have read Gossip's text)

Anyway I hope that my readers did read Swift's most famous book: 'A Modest proposal'... Irish undernourished parents should eat their kids, because this would solve at once the famine AND the overpopulation problem... written more than a century ago... and quite 'strong' from a surreality cracking standpoint...
Man, I love this kind of reversing (and I don't believe it is so much different from code reversing after all :-)
Look at the introduction (technically apostrophe): "Dear +HCUkers and fellow necrophiliacs" this is a classical masterpiece of rethorical deceiving... Hey, hey, are you still there? Ok: here you go with this new "troll cracking" masterpiece :-)

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Dear +HCUkers and fellow necrophiliacs,

After spending a significant number of hours browsing through the kernel update of the much overbloated Win98 (now cracked and available everywhere), I decided to relax at around one in the morning and strolled down to the funeral home a few blocks away from my flat. After selecting what appeared to be a normal (but freshly dead) 10- or 11-year-old girl in a rather exquisite mahogany casket, I fucked her fishy body for approximately fifteen minutes (screaming out Bill Gates' name just about every other minute :-) and was suddenly inspired by the reality that most conventional protections against catching disease from rotting flesh are ineffectual at best. (Could there be "hidden protections"?) So, I considered the healths of my fellow HCU buddies, including +ORC, and decided to write the following up. (HCUers, watch out for a coming section related to corpse-humping at fravia.org! Believe me, you haven't lived until you've had sex with as much lubricant as you want! Going to a hooker is nothing compared to this. :-)

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I: Introduction

Very few text files have been written regarding the sexual tendencies and practices of necrophiliacs. While most people would prefer to believe that we do not exist we most certainly do as is obvious to anyone who visits a cemetery during our nightly rampages. Necrophiliacs prefer to go about their business alone; sharing is not a part of this alternative lifestyle as the corpse usually wears out fairly quickly. This is not to say that the occasional orgy involving four or five necrophiliacs and about a dozen or so corpses does not occur, but it is very rare. In this file I will describe common (and some uncommon) techniques which necrophiliacs use to gain satisfaction from their stiff partners. Hopefully these vivid descriptions will encourage you to go out to your local cemetery and to join our ranks!

II: Finding a partner

Finding a partner for your necrophiliac activities is definitely the hardest part. You not only have to gain access to the corpse but you also have to find one which suits your tastes. Granted, some necrophiliacs would screw roadkill if given the chance but most of us are more discriminating. Your chances depend upon where you pick up your date. If you have access to a morgue it would definitely be your best bet as the corpses there are usually the freshest and have not yet been treated for burial. They may be a bit chilly because they've been lying in the meat locker for days but that really shouldn't make a big difference to the determined necrophiliac. Cemeteries are a bit harder to deal with as finding a screwable corpse is harder to do. However, if you know how to interpret signs this shouldn't be a problem. If a grave consists of a mound of fresh dirt and is covered with flowers, chances are that the stiff hasn't been laying here for too long. Rotting flowers on the mound usually hint to the state of the corpse as well. Some people are exclusively into 'porking the bone', i.e. sex with skeletons. In this case you can dig up almost any grave and hope that the inhabitant hasn't yet disintegrated into dust. Try to scope out a fairly secluded cemetery for your passions unless you like a sense of danger to go along with the sex. Having anyone catch you in the act is NOT fun, and if you're picked up by a cop chances are that you won't be able to screw anything but Bubba behind bars for the next few decades. People are generally not understanding of the necrophiliac lifestyle, so it will probably be a long time before we can come out of the closet.

III: Preparation

Depending upon where you are at this point you'll have either a little or a lot of work to do. The person in the morgue will obviously have to do little more than to open the locker, pull the corpse out and bang away. If you're one of the cemetery people you'll have more work to do. An experienced necrophiliac is always equipped with the bare essentials: a shovel, vaseline and a box of rubbers. Why the shovel is needed should be obvious, but if the ground is hard then you might need more equipment to dig up your date. Vaseline is used to loosen the corpse up a bit. This makes it less likely for a body part to break off while you're having fun and it also prevents your mantool from becoming too irritated while screwing the dried out pussy. The BOX of condoms is used to play it safe; no necrophiliac should be without it. You never know which STDs your partner had during his/her lifetime, and believe me, it doesn't get any better after the person dies. You can put on more than one rubber for extra protection if it is warranted, but screwing a corpse without protection is just plain stupid unless you want to be the next date for a necrophiliac. If you're in a cemetery try to drag the corpse out of the grave and behind a bush or to another secluded place. Pumping away in the grave may seem more convenient, but it's a severe disadvantage to you if you need to take off in a hurry. Sometimes the corpse is too fragile to be moved; in that case make it fast. Or just break off the head, hand or lower torso and take it with you for added convenience.

Part IV: Techniques

So now you've got a stiff lying seductively in front of you, but you have no idea how to start. How you proceed from this point onward really depends upon what kind of person you are. The corpse will last longer if you treat it gently and with care, but if you prefer to go all out you'll probably receive greater satisfaction. There are many differences between screwing a live and a dead person which one needs to be aware of. Firstly, a corpse will never tell you to get off of it if you're being a bit rough and it will never complain no matter what kinky sexual practices you use it for. Screwing a corpse is also much more predictable because you can raise an arm, leg or whatever and it will still be in that position when you reach for it again. Take the arms and gently lock them in an embrace behind your back, or spread the legs to make sex a bit easier. If you want a great blowjob then lubricate your partner's mouth, lock it to your preferred width, insert and go for it. Although there's no tongue stimulation it's still worthwhile, and it's also safer than conventional sex. Corpses can also be recycled if treated properly. If you're a proficient embalmer you can keep a corpse for over five years if it has been properly embalmed. That's free sex whenever you want it! You naturally don't want to be too rough with an embalmed corpse though as they are more fragile. One final advantage of screwing corpses is that they are always in abundance. Based upon your sexual preferences you can designate a cemetery or a morgue as your territory and always find fresh partners to screw. Plus you don't have to resort to cheesy pickup lines or spend all your money in order to get a date. Necrophilia is a passion which is cheaply satisfied.

V. Conclusion

I hope that this text file will encourage you to go out and try necrophilia. Not many people do it, but that's precisely what makes it so much fun; it makes you feel special! If no living person would touch you with a 10 foot pole then try having sex with a corpse! Some of them are real beauties and it's an experience you'll never forget. There is no greater experience for a virgin than having his/her virginity taken by a corpse. Anyways, have fun and if you have any experiences you'd like to share then by all means do! Maybe necrophilia will enter the mainstream because of your efforts.

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Gossip

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